which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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