I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
