We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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