i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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