From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
