okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
