I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
