Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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