She's JV to your varsity
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
