Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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