Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
