idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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