Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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