atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
