Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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