She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
What drink are we having for lunch?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
