If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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