So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
