If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
