i permit you to call me
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
