so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
