i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
