im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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