Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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