Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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