yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
