I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Randomize
