I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
