To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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