please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
