Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
