last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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