So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Porn is love you can see.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
