you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
