My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
