After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
