You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
