Yo dont text me then not text me
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
