You work out of a Hotel?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
