Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
her vagine was all disorganized.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
