No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
