Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Vodka?
Forever.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
