so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
