i think my mom watched the whole time
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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