so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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