I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
