I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
