why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
