Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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