I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
