Where did you get a picture of my penis
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
