So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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