she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
